Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I do not like rollercoasters. When we go to Silver Dollar City or Six Flags, I really prefer to watch while the kids ride. That's the good thing about them getting older! I think it is more fun to watch other people screaming their heads off or smiling from ear to ear with pure happiness! I don't mind sitting at the exit watching and listening to people. I enjoy seeing happy little kids and goofy teenagers and adults acting like little kids and goofy teenagers. It makes me laugh to watch naughty kids and think about how lucky I am to have such great kids :) Anyway, the point of this is that we have been on an adoption rollercoaster for so long and I am ready to get off. I think we have done enough twists and turns and we are ready to come to a nice stop at the exit. My call from GW this morning did not go as planned. I was expecting them to call with a consulate appointment and our Gotcha Day date and travel arrangements. But that's not what we got. Instead we got somewhat of a lecture about how the CCCWA has been talking to the orphanage and the hospital and they are very concerned about Ethan traveling. They think that us being in China with him for two weeks will be hard on him. Here's the deal... we are concerned, too. First of all I am concerned that my poor son has been living with heart problems that can be corrected with a pacemaker for over a year and a half and NOBODY has been willing to give him the care he needs (well, at least nobody with any power). He has been given crappy care by doctors who do not specialize in pediatric cardiology. This is why God gave us Dr. Tong. I believe in him and feel so confident that he knows what he is talking about. He is willing and able to help Ethan. He has consulted with us and is willing to talk to GW tomorrow, which is what they requested. He is going above and beyond for no reason other than he is a good doctor with a good heart. I am so thankful for him. Second, I am concerned that my poor son has been sitting in a hospital bed for over 2 months. He doesn't get a chance to play or run or be a two year old boy. GW said one of the concerns is that he won't be able to walk around with us for two weeks. DUH!!! I am going to carry him. If he doesn't want to walk, he's not going to have to. We have a great backpack carrier to put him in and we are both willing to hold him all the time! He needs a chance to play for goodness sakes. Third, I am concerned about our family and how everything is on hold. This has been emotionally draining for the last two months on so many levels. We are concerned that is we don't get him home soon, there are going to be major problems. We can't spend any money because we are waiting on China. We can't make any plans because we are waiting on China. We can't commit to anything because we are waiting on China. We can't fully do our jobs because we are waiting on China. We are not serving at church as much as we would like because we are waiting on China. We are more on edge, more grouchy, more emotional, and more irritable because we are waiting on China. We are at the mercy of people who do not think the way we do about children. I am certain that they cannot possibly understand why or how we can love this little boy we have never met. And how we can want him so badly when he is so sick. Since we adopted Reagan we have tried to embrace the Chinese culture and want her to be proud of where she came from, but lately it is hard to feel that way. Obviously, China has blessed me greatly, but I am sad for the people who are missing out on so much because they do not have Jesus in their hearts. He changes everything and He is the reason I can love Ethan. I am praying in His name that we can get this adoption over with and move on with life. My heart, my arms, my mind ache for Ethan to be home. Please pray for all the necessary doors to be open in a timely manner and for Ethan's health to remain stable until we can get him home to the care he needs and deserves. We are planning to leave on the 18th, please pray we can! Thanks to all of you who are riding on this rollercoaster right beside us!