While we anxiously await news about Ethan, we are trying to have a normal life. I am so blessed to work in a Christian environment with great Christian women and families who have been amazingly supportive. Being back around all the sweet kids has been very helpful. Even though it is hard to see the toddlers that are the same size as Ethan, I love them all to pieces and am glad I am getting back into the groove. One God moment was when Ms. Megan brought the Mini-Monkeys in to give me some Welcome Back balloons (made out of paperplates and pipecleaners) that they had colored pictures on. Precious Boone told me that he drew a picture of me looking at a rainbow because that is God's promise. I teared up and hugged that sweet boy so hard. I love kids! What a perfect reminder of God's promise to never leave us or forsake us. He's with us through all of this heartache, waiting, and uncertainty. I also came back to work to brand new carpet in my office!!!! Most of you probably have no idea what a fantastic gift this was! All the teachers worked with Dave and Kevin to give my office a much needed and appreciate make-over. Awesome!
So, we are still "discussing" our refund with GW for all those fees we prepaid and didn't use. I am praying (and ask you to join me) that God will speak to their hearts to do the right thing and give us a refund. Mainly because we need it to give right back to them to travel again. It is absurd to me that they are expecting us to believe that they gave all of our nearly $9,000 to a "vendor" in China to distribute to guides, drivers, hotels, etc. Since the last 9 days of our itinerary never happened, those guides, drivers, and hotels didn't get paid, so where is all that money? Haven't gotten a straight answer yet. Again, I am praying that GW will make an exception and help us out with this matter. I understand it is a business and the money is supposed to be nonrefundable, but our adoption is not like any other and requires a little bit of extra compassion and understanding. I am hoping to see this situation bring out the best in everyone involved. Please continue to pray about this.
And now the best news... we did get an update on Ethan today. GW found out that he has been in Nanjing since the 23rd, which was the day after we left Nanjing :( . He has not had surgery and the doctors decided they wanted to wait until he was older, like 2 1/2. Which is still 6 months away. He is stable, with a heartrate of 55. GW agreed with us that we should try to bring him home for another surgery, so they are working to figure out if he is stable enough to travel. The plan is to work with Half the Sky and the China Care Home (look those up if you are interested because they are both amazing organizations that do wonderful things for orphans and China) in Beijing to move him there. They have excellent people working there that can take care of him until we are allowed to go get him. Everything still has to go through the CCCWA, but hopefully people will keep advocating for what is best for our little boy. I just want to be the one who comforts him and we want so badly to be a part of his healthcare decisions. I know God is the one who ultimately heals and we trust that He will be with each and every doctor, nurse, nanny, and person that is with Ethan. God will guide their hands, hearts, and minds as they make decisions about how to care for him. There is so much comfort in that.
I am trying not to be anxious about thr trip back to China and bringing Ethan home. I am not a very good traveler and that long plane ride is tough. To add to it a medically fragile two year old is very stressful, so I am praying for the best possible route and an easy trip home. I wish we could afford to pay for a doctor to go with us! None of our girls will go with us this time, so I will have to coordinate their schedules and all that again. This is a time to ask for help from family and friends and I am definitely getting better at admitting we need help. Thank God for all the people who volunteer to help in so many ways!
We discussed with GW some of the special needs that we are comfortable with so they can begin looking at baby girl files for Reese. It is exciting to think about completing our family with two China sweethearts. And then we are done. All the seats will be full in our vehicle and around our table. We are so blessed! Please be in prayer for us as we work with GW for the perfect match for our family.
I am feeling so thankful for my husband today. We were talking about how much we have been through and how this isn't at all what we dreamed about when we met and got married. God has definitely made our lives exciting and wonderful and He has helped us through some very hard times. I can't imagine going through any of it without Tim by my side. We have had to lean on eachother in the last two weeks like never before and I love him more than ever for working so hard to help our family stay positive and move forward. He has been smart, sweet, and strong through everything, but especially when I was being irrational, emotional, and weak. I pray that all of my girls will be able to find a husband like their daddy and I pray Ethan will grow up to be just like his daddy. Pretty sure I don't deserve him!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Little Rays of Sunshine In the Storm
It seems Ethan's story is causing quite a storm. In one way, this is heart-warming to us, as the love and support that has been expressed to us during this difficult time, has carried us through. The prayers that have been lifted up have made a huge difference in our lives and we will be forever grateful to our brothers and sisters in Christ for calling on God to help our family.
On the other hand, the storm is causing distress for GW. We would like to respectfully ask that people channel their anger, support, and efforts into something positive. The last thing we want is for Ethan's adoption to be compromised because of negative press. There is a time and a place to stand up for what is right and we kindly ask that people think of positive ways to help make this situation better.
As a family, we are praying for God's will to be done. He has allowed this crisis for a reason and we strongly feel that part of that is so we can have a better understanding for other adoptive families. Our Adoption Ministry is so important to us and we want to have all the tools and resources we can to help others. We now have advice about what to do when something terrible happens. Even when it is hard we are called to rejoice in times of trouble. I am so thankful that God has been by our side the entire time and even more comforting, that He is with Ethan at all times.
We are praying without ceasing for Ethan and hoping we will get a call very soon that he is ready to come home. He has been moved to a hospital in Nanjing for another heart surgery. I was thankful to know that he is alive and that they are taking care of him. My heart hurts so badly that he doesn't have his mommy and daddy to love on him while he is hurting and recovering. We picture angels surrounding his hospital room, guiding the doctors and nurses. We hope he feels loved and protected.
One thing that has been on our hearts is that maybe God is leading us to our baby Reese sooner than we thought. Even though we have been waiting for many years (our paperwork was logged in March 8, 2007), we knew the wait was going to stretch out for several more. Our DTC FB group has many families that are adopting two special needs children at one time and we have discussed several times how we should have pulled our dossier out of line and found our baby girl at the same time as our son. These thoughts came when it was too late to do that. Now we feel strongly that it is time to find Reese with the hopes of Ethan recovering and being able to travel to adopt them both at one time. This will complete the Tucker family and give us the rest of our lives to help other people adopt! I know we have a lot of prayer warriors out there and we want to ask for your prayers for us as we pursue our 6th and final child. It may seem crazy, but nothing about our life right now is "normal"!
Honestly, we are ready to complete our family. The stress of adopting takes a lot of time, money, energy, patience, and perseverance. It is time for us to complete what we have started and move on to being a support for other families. God has given us the desire to bring Reese home and we believe He will help us with all the details. We do not think waiting for a non-special needs referral is what is best and thankfully we had a wonderful conversation with GW about our options. We were contacted by Diedra, who showed so much concern and compassion that I finally felt like someone from our agency was going to help us. She made it clear that CCCWA knows we want Ethan and that we have never waivered in our love and commitment to him. It is so unfortunate that this conversation didn't happen a week ago. (wow, it's hard to believe it's been a week since we came home- what a nightmare of a week) I think the pressure of outsiders combined with me flipping out on the phone has caused GW to take a look at what exactly they are doing to help and how they are conveying that to us. I can only think of one other time in my life that I have even come close to being that upset and angry and frustrated. I don't like that feeling. My mama bear instinct was really showing in my last phone call with Kim. Hopefully Diedra has learned that that is not the kind of person I am, but that I have been pushed to my limit emotionally.
We want to reach out to the BTDT crowd of adoptive families and ask for fundraising help. We feel we have done it all at this point and do not feel like we can ask our community for much more. Does anyone have unique fundraising ideas that we could use? Or maybe someone has a shoebox of cash that they want to give us? HA! We tell potential adoptive families all the time to not let the money stop you from adopting and that you just have to be faithful and diligent in cutting back your budget and choose successful fundraisers. It is so much easier to be reassuring to other people than to ourselves! We would appreciate greatly any help we can get in this area! We do have a diamond tennis bracelet that we are thinking about auctioning off, but have never done that. Anyone with a suggestion on how to do this? I've always been intrigued by the puzzle piece fundraiser, but not sure exactly how that works. Please email Tim with suggestions or advice ttucker@lebanon.k12.mo.us
I know I said I wasn't going to blog, but I just can't help it. Tim has proofed this post and given permission for me to post it (hahahaha). Thanks for keeping up with our story. We look forward to sharing the happily ever after part...
On the other hand, the storm is causing distress for GW. We would like to respectfully ask that people channel their anger, support, and efforts into something positive. The last thing we want is for Ethan's adoption to be compromised because of negative press. There is a time and a place to stand up for what is right and we kindly ask that people think of positive ways to help make this situation better.
As a family, we are praying for God's will to be done. He has allowed this crisis for a reason and we strongly feel that part of that is so we can have a better understanding for other adoptive families. Our Adoption Ministry is so important to us and we want to have all the tools and resources we can to help others. We now have advice about what to do when something terrible happens. Even when it is hard we are called to rejoice in times of trouble. I am so thankful that God has been by our side the entire time and even more comforting, that He is with Ethan at all times.
We are praying without ceasing for Ethan and hoping we will get a call very soon that he is ready to come home. He has been moved to a hospital in Nanjing for another heart surgery. I was thankful to know that he is alive and that they are taking care of him. My heart hurts so badly that he doesn't have his mommy and daddy to love on him while he is hurting and recovering. We picture angels surrounding his hospital room, guiding the doctors and nurses. We hope he feels loved and protected.
One thing that has been on our hearts is that maybe God is leading us to our baby Reese sooner than we thought. Even though we have been waiting for many years (our paperwork was logged in March 8, 2007), we knew the wait was going to stretch out for several more. Our DTC FB group has many families that are adopting two special needs children at one time and we have discussed several times how we should have pulled our dossier out of line and found our baby girl at the same time as our son. These thoughts came when it was too late to do that. Now we feel strongly that it is time to find Reese with the hopes of Ethan recovering and being able to travel to adopt them both at one time. This will complete the Tucker family and give us the rest of our lives to help other people adopt! I know we have a lot of prayer warriors out there and we want to ask for your prayers for us as we pursue our 6th and final child. It may seem crazy, but nothing about our life right now is "normal"!
Honestly, we are ready to complete our family. The stress of adopting takes a lot of time, money, energy, patience, and perseverance. It is time for us to complete what we have started and move on to being a support for other families. God has given us the desire to bring Reese home and we believe He will help us with all the details. We do not think waiting for a non-special needs referral is what is best and thankfully we had a wonderful conversation with GW about our options. We were contacted by Diedra, who showed so much concern and compassion that I finally felt like someone from our agency was going to help us. She made it clear that CCCWA knows we want Ethan and that we have never waivered in our love and commitment to him. It is so unfortunate that this conversation didn't happen a week ago. (wow, it's hard to believe it's been a week since we came home- what a nightmare of a week) I think the pressure of outsiders combined with me flipping out on the phone has caused GW to take a look at what exactly they are doing to help and how they are conveying that to us. I can only think of one other time in my life that I have even come close to being that upset and angry and frustrated. I don't like that feeling. My mama bear instinct was really showing in my last phone call with Kim. Hopefully Diedra has learned that that is not the kind of person I am, but that I have been pushed to my limit emotionally.
We want to reach out to the BTDT crowd of adoptive families and ask for fundraising help. We feel we have done it all at this point and do not feel like we can ask our community for much more. Does anyone have unique fundraising ideas that we could use? Or maybe someone has a shoebox of cash that they want to give us? HA! We tell potential adoptive families all the time to not let the money stop you from adopting and that you just have to be faithful and diligent in cutting back your budget and choose successful fundraisers. It is so much easier to be reassuring to other people than to ourselves! We would appreciate greatly any help we can get in this area! We do have a diamond tennis bracelet that we are thinking about auctioning off, but have never done that. Anyone with a suggestion on how to do this? I've always been intrigued by the puzzle piece fundraiser, but not sure exactly how that works. Please email Tim with suggestions or advice ttucker@lebanon.k12.mo.us
I know I said I wasn't going to blog, but I just can't help it. Tim has proofed this post and given permission for me to post it (hahahaha). Thanks for keeping up with our story. We look forward to sharing the happily ever after part...
Thank You
We truly appreciate all the love and support many people are giving to our family during this time in our adoption. I’m at work right now and do not have time to go into any details about what is happening and we may find it appropriate not to get into all the details. However, my family has been working with GW over the last several days and we had a very productive conversation with them yesterday. I know many of you are outraged out what has happened in our adoption. However, as sometimes is the case on the internet people not connected to the issue can cause problems. Again we appreciate all the support from everyone and we welcome that support. However, “storming” GW with calls and emails maybe counterproductive for our family and ultimately Ethan as well. Let my family sort some things out and check back here for a productive way to support our family.
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